I only read four magazines religiously: Wired, the New York Times Review of Books, Metropolitan Home Magazine (okay, i love design, alright!), and the New Yorker. Every week when I get my copy of the New Yorker I immediately turn to the table of contents in the hopes that there is a Shouts and Murmurs section. Shouts and Murmurs is their 1000 word satire section usually lambasting some recent event or highly publicized debacle. After reading these for years I had an idea one morning for my own. It took me forever to write and refine (mostly due to travel and business). Finally I had the nerve to submit it to the Shouts and Murmurs department. If you can picture it, it was one of those slow-motion-one-finger-dropping-on-the-ENTER-button moments - just like leaving your child at the curb for his first day of school.
Having not been a writer, I never realized that the hard part is not writing and editting, it is waiting for a completely indeterminate amount of time while the magazine needs to send you a response. Fortunately the New Yorker got back to me pretty quickly with their rejection letter. And, in true New Yorker Shouts and Murmurs style, even the rejection letter, though simple at first glance, was dripping with sarcasm. If I am gonna be rejected for the first time by anyone, I am glad it was them.
So, for your reading pleasure, i have included here the complete piece. Please note two things:
1) This is a satire. Before you all start sending me flame mail and comments, if you don't know the New Yorker, go and read it; you'll understand the context for which this was written. Read a few Shouts and Murmurs and you'll get the gist.
2) This is really more about Web 2.0 than it is about politics, although both aspects are scarily possible.
Regardless, I had fun writing this and I hope you have fun reading it.